[ He doesn't have to say anything, Gavin getting the waves of his feelings... it hurts a little. It hurts to know it was an entirely unrequited love. He doesn't doubt Amanda cared for him, but it was more like a son...
It hurts in a way something hurts when you don't look after it properly. ]
I'm sorry, Eli. [ He leans over Hank and pulls him into a one armed hug. ] I wouldn't have asked if I'd known.
[ Elijah forces a smile, leaning into the hug. It's an old wound, but it'll always be there. Amanda was his everything, and then she was gone. He had to move on... or you know, base an AI on her. ]
[ Much as Eli's the type to dwell, he'll try to relax. Ezra's a lot better at letting go than he is. But then he's officially changed his name back and he's soft and married and happy so now Elijah gets to be the problem child, huh?
[ Time for you to deal with your own shit shit, Eli!! That's what you get being in a pack with them. Gonna be all emotionally healthy and shit whether you like it or not. It's hard to not work through things when you've literally got other people in your head. ]
Eli, we're almost forty. It's pointless to assign blame to a lot of shit we did when we were young, immature and still under the thumb of our folks own bullshit. We both fucked up but we're fixing it. [ He reaches over and pokes between his eyes. ] You may be a vampire but you're gonna get wrinkles between your eyes if you keep looking like that.
[ Eli makes a face. Maybe his opinion will change one day, but for now -- blood is pretty gross. ]
You know I'm too squeamish to do that.
[ But he does take his appearance more seriously than most people so don't be surprised if he starts wearing foundation help with that dead pallor to his skin. ]
Well, since you're giving me the floor, I may as well. Would you and Hank ever consider a threesome?
[ He's full of shit, he's just going for the most embarrassing thing he can think of. ]
[ Eye roll. ] You're the first squeamish vampire, you weenie.
[ And then... Gavin turns bright red and tosses a pillow right at his face. ]
Oh fuck off! No! [ He's even more insistent because the instincts and pack dynamics are all fucky right now and the voice in his head is like "Sure because that's me!" and that's? No!! Ew!!
(Also that dream one of them had to have... no... ) ]
[ He laughs though. He can feel that pull too, part of him was just wanting to know if Ezra was feeling it too. He should have guessed.
Also Hank grumbles something but manages to stay asleep. I guess he can tell they're both happy even if they're being stupid. ]
Fine, I rescind my question. How about... [ He pauses, tossing the pillow back to Gavin. ] Was it always so... easy for you? Being a werewolf. It seems like having Hank around really helped. You adjusted quickly. Or am I wrong?
[ It's a very insistent and intoxicating pull that he is stalwartly ignoring. He catches the pillow and curls up next to his husband again, snuffling close.
He hums a little at the genuine question. ]
No, it wasn't. Hank didn't really know anything either so we were both figuring it out. I was... [ He trails off. ] Scared of hurting people a lot. But we've got a handle on it now, I'd say.
[ Yeah, Elijah can get that. Considering he can kinda 'turn on' his sensors that let him smell and feel and sense blood, it's... a little scary. Just a little. ]
Just... went to Hank, when I could. Werewolf thing, being around the alpha. Gives you a better sense of control.
[ He looks up at Eli again. ] I'm sure Babcia will be able to tell you things you need to know... but if you get scared or anything, just come to me. Maybe we can just fight it out til you feel more in control.
[ Born hangry: the most dangerous of all vampires. ]
I'll let you know.
[ He really might. He doesn't know his own strength yet, that's the only safe way. ]
It's... overwhelming. I've managed to get used to it. Or maybe tone it down. But I can hear your heart. And your pulse. And... well, I could see your blood under your skin, last night.
[ The only thing that could kill Gavin at this point is his spine being ripped clean in two, so. He's the ideal punching bag while you get yourself figured out, bro.
And that's... not really surprising, he supposes. ]
Yeah, I kinda relate. My hearing is pretty intense now. [ He flicks at his ear lobe. ] I can hear your heartbeat too, it's been faster since you fed on me. It was... really slow last night.
[ He's been through a lot, he wouldn't be guessed that his heartbeat was gonna sound so... strange. He sets a hand on his chest. It almost feels normal. Werewolf blood is probably super charged somehow. ]
I suppose that makes sense. Without an outside source of blood, I'm basically a zombie.
You're not a zombie, Eli. Your... default state is just different. My shit got changed up too.
[ His stomach suddenly gurgles. ] Like that, I'm fuckin' hungry all the damn time. And my resting heart is too fast and literally all of my body hair grows to damn fast now. Things change.
[ He snorts. ] Doesn't the internet think you absorbed me in the womb or something, since no one's ever seen me? Don't believe everything you see.
[ It's definitely time for breakfast and maybe let his hubby sleep in. He's very cute when he sleeps, it's hard not to just gaze at him lovingly. ]
We've always been hairy, you're the one who started shaving the second puberty hit. [ But he softens into a smile. ] Thanks... it's gonna be just fine for you too, I know it.
[ That makes him scoff. He's definitely heard that one before. ]
It helps me swim.
[ Sure sounds better than "body hair is gross" but that's Eli's opinion, man. He smiles, looking down at Hank too. Maybe he can't have him romantically (does he want that? Or is that Ezra's blood talking?) but he can have his support. They're a pack. He can feel that, deep in his core. He wouldn't be sane without it, evidently. ]
[ He gets a laugh out of the Ezra Kamski conspiracy theories. 'Ezra is Elijah's public identity! Body double! Android clone!' Hilarious. ]
Uh huh. [ Well you don't have to worry about it now, at least.
Aw, Eli actually looks sweet looking down at Hank... he knows his feelings are partially his fault but. There are worse people to have feelings for, he supposes. Hank won't ever lead him on anyway. ]
Pretty much. You're gonna be happy and safe whether you like it or not, dammit.
no subject
It hurts in a way something hurts when you don't look after it properly. ]
I'm sorry, Eli. [ He leans over Hank and pulls him into a one armed hug. ] I wouldn't have asked if I'd known.
no subject
[ Elijah forces a smile, leaning into the hug. It's an old wound, but it'll always be there. Amanda was his everything, and then she was gone. He had to move on... or you know, base an AI on her. ]
no subject
[ He sort of gently pinches his cheek, an annoying little brother thing to distract him. ]
We both kinda got... lost in grief for a while there, didn't we?
no subject
[ Elijah smirks, slapping his hand away and reaching over to mess with Gavin's hair. ]
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I should have reached out.
no subject
It's okay. I mean, I didn't try very hard either. I was so determined to be alone and angry to prove a point
no subject
Yeah, ok, he's gonna dwell. ]
I certainly didn't help.
no subject
Eli, we're almost forty. It's pointless to assign blame to a lot of shit we did when we were young, immature and still under the thumb of our folks own bullshit. We both fucked up but we're fixing it. [ He reaches over and pokes between his eyes. ] You may be a vampire but you're gonna get wrinkles between your eyes if you keep looking like that.
no subject
I don't have wrinkles, you know I take moisturizing very seriously.
no subject
[ Flashbacks to all the times he'd find younger Eli laying in bed with a face mask on, scaring the absolute shit out of him. ]
Now, are there any potentially embarrassing questions you wanna ask me? Y'know, to make it even.
no subject
You know I'm too squeamish to do that.
[ But he does take his appearance more seriously than most people so don't be surprised if he starts wearing foundation help with that dead pallor to his skin. ]
Well, since you're giving me the floor, I may as well. Would you and Hank ever consider a threesome?
[ He's full of shit, he's just going for the most embarrassing thing he can think of. ]
no subject
[ And then... Gavin turns bright red and tosses a pillow right at his face. ]
Oh fuck off! No! [ He's even more insistent because the instincts and pack dynamics are all fucky right now and the voice in his head is like "Sure because that's me!" and that's? No!! Ew!!
(Also that dream one of them had to have... no... ) ]
no subject
[ He laughs though. He can feel that pull too, part of him was just wanting to know if Ezra was feeling it too. He should have guessed.
Also Hank grumbles something but manages to stay asleep. I guess he can tell they're both happy even if they're being stupid. ]
Fine, I rescind my question. How about... [ He pauses, tossing the pillow back to Gavin. ] Was it always so... easy for you? Being a werewolf. It seems like having Hank around really helped. You adjusted quickly. Or am I wrong?
no subject
He hums a little at the genuine question. ]
No, it wasn't. Hank didn't really know anything either so we were both figuring it out. I was... [ He trails off. ] Scared of hurting people a lot. But we've got a handle on it now, I'd say.
no subject
What did you do? When you were scared, I mean.
[ Not that it would ever happen to him. ]
no subject
[ He looks up at Eli again. ] I'm sure Babcia will be able to tell you things you need to know... but if you get scared or anything, just come to me. Maybe we can just fight it out til you feel more in control.
no subject
[ 'Vampires who kill their sire's tend to go berserk,' he can kind of understand that. Almost. He can see how it could happen. ]
So if I call you and tell you I'm worried I could hurt someone, you would 'fight it out' of me?
no subject
Yeah. Like when we were kids, but without the pillow fight.
[ He's quiet for a beat. ]
What... is it like? What are your senses like now, if you can tell?
no subject
I'll let you know.
[ He really might. He doesn't know his own strength yet, that's the only safe way. ]
It's... overwhelming. I've managed to get used to it. Or maybe tone it down. But I can hear your heart. And your pulse. And... well, I could see your blood under your skin, last night.
no subject
And that's... not really surprising, he supposes. ]
Yeah, I kinda relate. My hearing is pretty intense now. [ He flicks at his ear lobe. ] I can hear your heartbeat too, it's been faster since you fed on me. It was... really slow last night.
no subject
Oh. That's what that is.
[ He's been through a lot, he wouldn't be guessed that his heartbeat was gonna sound so... strange. He sets a hand on his chest. It almost feels normal. Werewolf blood is probably super charged somehow. ]
I suppose that makes sense. Without an outside source of blood, I'm basically a zombie.
no subject
You're not a zombie, Eli. Your... default state is just different. My shit got changed up too.
[ His stomach suddenly gurgles. ] Like that, I'm fuckin' hungry all the damn time. And my resting heart is too fast and literally all of my body hair grows to damn fast now. Things change.
no subject
[ He shrugs. When has the internet ever been right anyway. Ezra's stomach makes him chuckle though. ]
You are remarkably hairy now. And yet you still managed to find happiness. I'm happy for you, you know.
no subject
[ It's definitely time for breakfast and maybe let his hubby sleep in. He's very cute when he sleeps, it's hard not to just gaze at him lovingly. ]
We've always been hairy, you're the one who started shaving the second puberty hit. [ But he softens into a smile. ] Thanks... it's gonna be just fine for you too, I know it.
no subject
It helps me swim.
[ Sure sounds better than "body hair is gross" but that's Eli's opinion, man. He smiles, looking down at Hank too. Maybe he can't have him romantically (does he want that? Or is that Ezra's blood talking?) but he can have his support. They're a pack. He can feel that, deep in his core. He wouldn't be sane without it, evidently. ]
Im sure you wouldn't let me be anything less.
no subject
Uh huh. [ Well you don't have to worry about it now, at least.
Aw, Eli actually looks sweet looking down at Hank... he knows his feelings are partially his fault but. There are worse people to have feelings for, he supposes. Hank won't ever lead him on anyway. ]
Pretty much. You're gonna be happy and safe whether you like it or not, dammit.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)