responsible parent seeks other parents for adventure

[donotlick]

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[throwabookatit]

[ This she can respond to. Even if it hurts. It's...relevant, in a way. She sucks in a breath. ]

I understand. There's... There's someone in my life, who I feel the same about. Who...if I lost him, I...don't really know just what I'd do.

[ Much like Hank's confession, Rebecca's words seem pulled from her, roughly. ]

Who I-- ...Who I...have realized, recently, I may have...o-obsessed over enough, with...stupid jealousy and entitlement to damage our friendship.

[ ...And there goes the rest of her drink. ]

I've been a right idiot, but- it's given me some perspective. From what you've told me? Whatever mistakes you've made, if- ...when you see Connor again. I don't think you're going to lose him, not to something like unrequited feelings.

[donotlick]

[ Hank nods. Wow, they really have a lonely hearts club going in this place, don't they? ]

You're still young. This kind of shit? It happens. You get better for it.

[ Hank smiles sadly, setting his glass down and laying his palm flat on the table. ]

Thanks, 'Becca. I appreciate it... Didn't think there'd be anybody I could tell about this. [ He chuckles. ] kinda felt like I deserved to get my ass laughed at for worrying about this shit on top of everything else.

[throwabookatit]

[ The reassurance is...nice, honestly? She's awkward about glancing back up, but it's with a matching, pitiful smile. ]

You picked the wrong person to vent to, if you wanted to get laughed at. I'm not about to scoff at someone's matters of the heart, even if it seems...ridiculous.

[donotlick]

Guess so. Glad I picked you.

[ He shoots her a self-deprecating smirk, mostly because he can't imagine anyone ever doing something this nice for him? Hank really doesn't have many friends. ]

Hey, now you know something about me even Connor doesn't. I tell that kid everything, but this... this shit ain't his fault. [ He sighs. He does that a lot. ] Han's probably a better fit for 'im than me, anyway. I'm a little too washed up to be dating twink robots.

[throwabookatit]

[ Twink robots oh my god don't. She covers her mouth, slightly embarrassed and slightly amused. If they knew where Connor was, this would be more of a lighthearted thing. ]

I-if I can...give my advice again? I- I think...if it starts getting in the way, then...talk with him, about it. Not necessarily to...confess, or anything like that. Just to clear the air. It's something I'm starting to wish I'd done, years ago.

[donotlick]

[ Look, he says it like it is. And he's had a nice amount of booze so he's feeling loose and certainly a lot less stress. ]

Thanks. He pretty much made me spill his guts to 'im, that's how I know I'm hopeless.

[ Hank stares back at his empty glass. He sounds mostly resigned about it. Really, he didn't expect any different. His self-esteem is way too low to have entertained the idea of anyone actually liking him enough to date him. ]

It's alright. Just something I gotta get used to. But thanks... I try not to hide shit from 'im. Partners have to trust each other, no matter what.

[throwabookatit]

When he has you wrapped around his finger, but he has no idea the reason.

[ Alcohol tolerance of the damned, Rebecca's giving herself another drink. ]

...You know, Ashton [ she trips over his name, just briefly ] never really talks about it, the whole...partner thing. I hadn't realized, that you've someone to rely on so much on the force. He's always...well, more of a loner.

[donotlick]

Yep. That sure is it.

[ Hank sighs. He would kill for another drink... but he promised. So. He looks at Rebecca instead. ]

I used to be like that too, to be honest. Sure, it was me and Jeffrey back in the old days, but ever since he made Captain I kind of... drifted, from partner to partner. Wasn't until I started working with Connor that I really realized what I'd been missing out on.

[throwabookatit]

And Connor just...being him, it helped you understand that? You can't close yourself off and live a fulfilling life. [ A thoughtful sip. ] ...I hope Ash realizes that one day too.

[donotlick]

Connor's the kind of person who forced me to step up and stop slacking. He... I mean, shit, he's learning how to be a person. Watching him work so goddamn hard at everything... It reminded me of how I used to be when I gave a damn. When I actually though shit was worth something.

[ Hank nods. ]

I hope so too, for his sake.

[throwabookatit]

He literally turned your life around...huh.

...You know, Ash... It takes a lot to make him listen, anymore. He cares about us, but that's why he thinks he has to keep us in the dark. ...If...there were any way for you to talk to him, I think...if he were to listen to anyone, it'd be an officer in his profession.

[donotlick]

Yeah. He... he made me hope again.

[ Hank shrugs, almost rolling his eyes at himself. God, that sounds lame!! ]

Lots of his type, back at the precinct. I wouldn't mind talking some sense into 'im for you, if I could.

[throwabookatit]

[ Look, he may think it sounds lame, but Rebecca smiles lightly. ]

It'd be nice. Ash did the same thing for me- like...you with Connor, when I was a kid, so... I'd like to...give something back to him, like that. Something...selfless.

[donotlick]

[ Hank's just bad at Feelings. ]

That's good. The world needs more people like that.

[throwabookatit]

[ This is your problem, Dad, you need to accept that feelings happen. ]

That it does. ...If that's why you fell for Connor, him being one of them, I...definitely understand it. I suppose we have the same type, in that way.

[donotlick]

[ Hank chuckles. He's too tsun for feelings!! ]

That so, huh? Guess we oughta trade tricks. Though it kinda sounds like we're both pretty hopeless.

[ Still, it makes Hank smile to get this out... to actually have someone to talk to. ]

Least it's not as shitty when somebody else gets it.

[throwabookatit]

...It isn't, is it? It's much better than...well, the only other person I've talked to about this, prick that he is. Much better company.

[donotlick]

What, did you tell Hale about this, too?

[ Surely he's the biggest prick in this place... ]

[throwabookatit]

Ha, oh, no, not at all. It was someone from back home, someone I...only recently remembered. Whiny man-child of a person, even though...he did...have some things to say that made me think.

[donotlick]

Ahhh, gotcha.

[ Hank laughs. Somehow the image of her telling Hale was even funnier. ]

What'd he say?

[throwabookatit]

[ Well, Rebecca grimaces, looking away. ]

Besides not confusing...love with obsession [ she drinks ] some things that'd crossed my mind, a few times. Things about...how people change with time, and...the person I fell in love with may not be the one Ash is now. How...focusing all my attention on him, it'd only make me resentful, of whoever actually captured his affections.

[ She sighs, shakes her head. ]

When a man with the maturity of a six-year-old has to lecture you, about your love life, you've truly hit rock bottom.

[donotlick]

Woof. That must've hurt.

[ He reaches over, patting her on the shoulder. ]

Sometimes you need to hear shit like that. But it still fucking sucks to get called out on all the shit you're worrying about. This dude sounds like an asshole.

[throwabookatit]

He is, trust me. Didn't even ask to know his opinion, yet he parades around like the world's entitled to hear it.

[ She rolls her eyes, but shoots Hank a grateful look. ]

It was something I could've done without remembering. A- at least, not so abruptly.

[donotlick]

Ugh, one of those guys. Who think their opinion is so fucking important.

[ Hank knows the type. There's lots of guys like that at the precinct. Reed. ]

Yeah, these memories are pretty fucking weird, right? I feel like I'm gettin' them out of order, too. You'd think amnesia would make a little more goddamn sense.

[throwabookatit]

You're telling me... Last week's, it made...some kind of sense, you know? But I was missing something, this one, and...and it all just puts me right back there. Am I here, am I there? When did any of this even happen?